[LoudMusic]

The Front Fell Off

[Interviewer:] JR Scaringe thanks for coming in.

[JR Scaringe:] It’s a great pleasure, thank you.

[Interviewer:] This Rivian that was involved in the incident on the corner of Canopy Drive this week…

[JR Scaringe:] Yeah, the one the front fell off?

[Interviewer:] Yeah

[JR Scaringe:] That’s not very typical, I’d like to make that point.

[Interviewer:] Well, how is it untypical?

[JR Scaringe:] Well, there are a lot of these trucks going around the world all the time, and very seldom does anything like this happen … I just don’t want people thinking that Rivians aren’t safe.

[Interviewer:] Was this Rivian safe?

[JR Scaringe:] Well I was thinking more about the other ones…

[Interviewer:] The ones that are safe ... ?

[JR Scaringe:] Yeah, the ones the front doesn’t fall off.

[Interviewer:] Well, if this wasn’t safe, why did it have 135kwh of lithium batteries in it?

[JR Scaringe:] Well, I’m not saying it wasn’t safe, it’s just perhaps not quite as safe as some of the other ones.

[Interviewer:] Why?

[JR Scaringe:] Well, some of them are built so the front doesn’t fall off at all.

[Interviewer:] Wasn’t this built so the front wouldn’t fall off?

[JR Scaringe:] Well, obviously not.

[Interviewer:] How do you know?

[JR Scaringe:] Well, ‘cause the front fell off, and 135kwh of lithium stopped dead in the road, but nothing caught fire. It’s a bit of a give-away. I would just like to make the point that that is not normal.

[Interviewer:] Well, what sort of standards are these Rivians built to?

[JR Scaringe:] Oh, very rigorous ... consumer vehicle engineering standards.

[Interviewer:] What sort of things?

[JR Scaringe:] Well the front’s not supposed to fall off, for a start.

[Interviewer:] And what other things?

[JR Scaringe:] Well, there are ... regulations governing the materials they can be made of

[Interviewer:] What materials?

[JR Scaringe:] Well, Cardboard’s out

[Interviewer:] And?

[JR Scaringe:] ... No cardboard derivatives ...

[Interviewer:] Like paper?

[JR Scaringe:]. ... No paper, no string, no cellotape.

[Interviewer:] Rubber?

[JR Scaringe:] No, rubber’s out ... Um, They’ve got to have a steering wheel. There’s a minimum crew requirement.

[Interviewer:] What’s the minimum crew?

[JR Scaringe:] Oh, ... one, I suppose.

[Interviewer:] So, the allegations that they are just designed to carry as much cargo as possible and to hell with the consequences, I mean that’s ludicrous ... ?

[JR Scaringe:] Ludicrous, absolutely ludicrous. These are very, very strong trucks

[Interviewer:] So what happened in this case?

[JR Scaringe:] Well, the front fell off in this case by all means, but that’s very unusual.

[Interviewer:] But JR Scaringe, why did the front bit fall off?

[JR Scaringe:] Well, a paint stripe hit it.

[Interviewer:] A paint stripe hit it?

[JR Scaringe:] A paint stripe hit the truck.

[Interviewer:] Is that unusual?

[JR Scaringe:] Oh, yeah ... on a road? ... Chance in a million.

[Interviewer:] So what do you do to protect the environment in cases like this?

[JR Scaringe:] Well, the truck was towed outside the environment.

[Interviewer:] Into another environment...

[JR Scaringe:] No, no, no. it’s been towed beyond the environment, it’s not in the environment

[Interviewer:] Yeah, but from one environment to another environment.

[JR Scaringe:] No, it’s beyond the environment, it’s not in an environment. It has been towed beyond the environment.

[Interviewer:] Well, what’s out there?

[JR Scaringe:] Nothing’s out there ...

[Interviewer:] Well there must be something out there

[JR Scaringe:] There is nothing out there ... all there is ... is sea ... and birds ... and fish

[Interviewer:] And?

[JR Scaringe:] And 135kwh of lithium batteries

[Interviewer:] And what else?

[JR Scaringe:] No fire

[Interviewer:] And anything else?

[JR Scaringe:] And the part of the truck that the front fell off, but there’s nothing else out there.

[Interviewer:] JR Scaringe thanks for joining us.

[JR Scaringe:] It’s a complete void

[Interviewer:] Yeah, We’re out time

[JR Scaringe:] The environment’s perfectly safe. ... We’re out of time?.. Can you book me a cab?

[Interviewer:] But didn’t you come in a Rivian?

[JR Scaringe:] Yes, I did, but

[Interviewer:] What happened?

[JR Scaringe:] The front fell off

For the uninitiated:

 

[LoudMusic]

Somebody had a lot of time on their hands!!

For the lols? Worth it.